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Summer: Unsubscribe

May 13, 2011

Ring ring.

Weather: This is the weather, how can I help you?
Me: Umm…I think there has been a mistake with my order.
Weather: Zipcode please.
Me: 14618.
Weather: Let me pull that up…. Here you are: long winter?
Me: Yes.
Weather: Very wet April.
Me: Yeah.
Weather: You ordered up some sunshine….
Me: Sure–we were ready for it, but….
Weather: Didn’t your sunshine arrive? My screen is telling me it was 81 degrees today.
Me: Yes but, it is May 13th.
Weather: We try to be prompt.
Me: I was hoping maybe we could ease into the heat.
Weather: Well, like I said, we pride ourselves on our service. You, and everyone in your region, may I add, have been BEGGING for warmer weather. For months.
Me: That’s probably true, but how about a couple weeks of moderate temperatures?
Weather: So…let me get this straight…our service was TOO prompt?
Me: Well, or late. I am sure I asked for some warmth, or at least a thaw, in February.
Weather: I know…there was a little hitch in our delivery this year. So in an effort to compensate for the delay, we thought we’d get right to the heat.
Me: And the humidity?
Weather: Bonus for you.
Me: Huh. No thanks.
Weather: Sorry. Can’t take it back. No returns, but I will credit your moisture account.
Me: Thanks.
Weather: Anything else I can do for you today?
Me: Hmmmmm…bring back spring?
Weather: Maybe next year. Enjoy!


5 Comments leave one →
  1. May 14, 2011 12:17 am

    I love it!

  2. amy parnell permalink
    May 14, 2011 12:57 pm

    Spring seems to be something we read of in books, see in lovely commercials and just don’t have in Western NY anymore. Sad.

  3. May 15, 2011 12:34 am

    Fantastic! Love it, Emily!

  4. May 23, 2011 7:26 pm

    Today the windshield wipers on my car stopped working. You know it’s been raining too much when even the windshield wipers are rebelling.

  5. Amanda permalink
    June 1, 2011 11:17 pm

    LOL! I thought I might complain somewhere about this exact situation, but I would not have been nearly as clever!

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