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Sorry, America

February 24, 2011

I guess I’m dragging you down. No surprise, really. Just kind of stinks to see it in graph form.

And if single moms, i.e. the people who are actually raising the children, are so hated, just imagine how people must feel about about the parents who are not!

Not only do I represent the non-nebulously pox on your society, single moms, but I up the ante with the dreaded working moms

and, as if that weren’t a nail in the coffin, I made my kids bi-everything

We are truly the stuff of nightmares!

I won’t even tell you how much I pay in union dues and the deep love I have of collective bargaining–that would really be thumbing my nose at genteel America and haven’t I done enough harm already?

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15 Comments leave one →
  1. February 24, 2011 4:20 pm

    Hey, if I’d been asked about “single women having children without a male partner to help raise them,” I’d be on the rejection side, too. If you ask me about “single women raising children after divorce or widowhood” that would be an entirely different thing. One seems to concern women who decide from the get-go to bear children without any intention of giving them a father; the other sweeps in all those mothers who are raising children solo even when that was not their original intention and is not their present wish. The first seems selfish and deliberately depriving children; the other makes me want to rally around and stand behind someone who has faced an unexpected and unwanted difficulty. Especially when she’s working to support her children, regardless of the age of her children.

    Sorry. I won’t be making any horror movies starring you anytime soon. More likely I’ll be making a movie about beating the odds, with triumphant background music.

    • February 24, 2011 6:15 pm

      Agreed that the spectrum of families that fall under the general idea of single moms is varied, unfortunately I think there is a lot of, for lack of a better word, prejudice that affects all of us, but especially the kids. You can hear some examples on the Talk of the nation about it here: http://www.npr.org/player/v2/mediaPlayer.html?action=1&t=3&islist=true&id=5&d=02-24-2011

      One example I have is a dear, sweet, really saintly lady in my ward who observed to another equally saintly lady in our ward the moral degradation evident in our community as proven by the number of single parent families represented in her son’s class this year. When she realized I was sitting right beside her, she rushed to back pedal a bit. Another friend who was talking to me and only me told me that the problem in her school district was that all those kids raised by single parents weren’t getting read to at night. Yeah, she said that to me. Without apology.

      • joanna permalink
        February 24, 2011 8:00 pm

        ohh I can’t wait until the next book club so we can pry it out of you who said that! 😉 Unbelievable!

  2. Jeannette permalink
    February 24, 2011 5:44 pm

    As if women need one more reason to be put under the microscope. Let alone hard working women like yourself. I second everything the above commenter said. I’m sorry, but Emily O. and the cutie pies does not make the cut for my nightmares!!

  3. Wende Domm permalink
    February 24, 2011 7:31 pm

    Ouch! I like Ardis’ comments, and I think you’re good for the community – so please stay in mine. Unbee-lievable the comments that are heard at church! Did you at least get a “oh, but I didn’t mean you…” 🙂

  4. amy parnell permalink
    February 24, 2011 9:47 pm

    Being the mother of 4 inter racial children this does not surprise me at all. Now if we add poor to those questions the results are worse, electric chair anyone??? I had hoped by the time my children were in their 20’s things would be better, they aren’t. 😦

    • February 27, 2011 12:40 pm

      I suspect it is better on the one-on-one level–like anyone who has a personal relationship with one of our kids probably loves them. I assume the people who reject this pro forma are doing it in the abstract.

  5. February 26, 2011 12:50 am

    I wish you and your cuties would star in my nightmares. I’d wake up so much happier than I did the other morning when monkey soldiers ziplined down from military helicopters and took me hostage.

  6. February 26, 2011 8:05 pm

    Gee Emily, you just take the cake!

    • February 27, 2011 12:42 pm

      If only I could figure out how to hit all the other categories, too, maybe I could get a prize. It would involve some significant life changes, though.

  7. March 3, 2011 3:13 pm

    President Obama’s mother was quite the loser, too. Obviously.

  8. Stephani Teran permalink
    March 5, 2011 2:29 am

    Aside from the the fact that I don’t know you as well as some here do, I can tell that you love your children. Your love for them permeates your conversations and your actions. Loving your children sounds simple, but it is so much more than the statement made or an occasional sentiment shown to them. Love is ALL that matters to a child and if they feel loved, all else falls into place. Love is what make successful and decent human beings, and that love is all the more powerful when it comes from their mother. I strongly dislike the way humans are inclined to categorize and label everything because in generalizing you lose the individual stories. So I say down with the stats and societies fickle ideologies and kudos to you for having the guts to face the stereotypes with grace and dignity. Your loved kids will prove these pathetically drawn lines and gathered judgmental opinions wrong in the end.

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