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Our Portion of the Decline of Western Civilization

January 14, 2011

Lily: Mom, what does it mean when someone shows you their middle finger?
Me: Uuuummmmm… (where has she been? who has she been with? what has she seen?)
Lily: Does it mean they don’t like you? Is it mean?
Me: Yes–they are communicating that they don’t like you. It is bad. Don’t do it.
Peter: I can do it, see?
Me: We don’t do it, Peter.
Peter: We don’t say “stupid.”
Me: That too.
Peter: And we don’t say “Oh my God”–that means “I don’t like you.”
Me: Well…Lily where did you see that?
Lily: The fingers? On the bus.
Me: (I KNEW it! The bus! Wait a minute, the bus is K-2–are second graders corrupting my baby?) Who was doing that?
Lily: Bella, Ella, Emma, and Maddy*.
Me: Really!?! (Those are not second grade stiffs! They are not even boys!)
Lily: Yup.
Me: What did you do?
Lily: I just didn’t look.
Me: That’s my girl. I don’t know why kids like to share that stuff, but they do. When kids do, just ignore it and go do something else. Good choice.
Peter: Can I grow a mustache?
Me: (Deeply saddened, wanting to say no) Yes. When you are older you get to make those choices yourself.
Peter: Good. I need a mustache.

*=names changed to protect the culprits; they all have trendy little names, though.

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17 Comments leave one →
  1. Wende Domm permalink
    January 14, 2011 8:26 pm

    please please please just tell me it was really some little girls and not um, my son. Who rides the bus with Lily and who has come home with a few suspect behaviors that I KNOW he picked up on the bus….

  2. sylvia permalink
    January 14, 2011 8:26 pm

    they probably all have bratz dolls.

  3. deborah permalink
    January 14, 2011 9:31 pm

    Wait to your 12 yr old starts sharing the happenings of her friends–Oh, the horror!

  4. trista permalink
    January 14, 2011 10:30 pm

    could’ve been my three-year-old who introduced her to it. He points with his middle finger, and gets a great laugh from his siblings (despite my copious glares). What to do . . .

  5. January 15, 2011 1:33 am

    So no one is concerned about Peter wanting a mustache? Just me?

    • January 16, 2011 7:40 pm

      Oh no, Emily, you are not alone in your mustache anxiety. What I specifically intended to comment was:

      “Noooooo! No mustache!!”

  6. Joanna permalink
    January 15, 2011 8:01 am

    I am always surprised at what my kids learn on the bus. Peter will look awesome with a mustache! πŸ™‚

  7. amy parnell permalink
    January 15, 2011 9:07 am

    As long as he doesn’t want a tattoo there is still much room for hope!

  8. Sheree Budge permalink
    January 15, 2011 12:46 pm

    Mustaches aren’t so bad. Paul has had a collection of false mustaches for years, and wore one for his senior portrait.

  9. Lindsay Sorensen permalink
    January 15, 2011 12:59 pm

    I think Peter is a closet ER fan. Next he’ll want to become a surgeon too.

    http://www.channel4.com/programmes/er/pictures/er-from-the-beginning/er-20090429150302-16

  10. Amy Thomason permalink
    January 15, 2011 5:00 pm

    Jillian is obsessed with beards, so maybe it’s just that age.

  11. January 16, 2011 8:09 pm

    This post was so hilarious!! (Minus the sad influences on the bus). I was laughing so hard I had to share this with Dave. Peter is awesomeness…love it!! πŸ™‚

    • January 16, 2011 9:10 pm

      Peter told me again today that he needs a “short” mustache. He is committed.

  12. January 17, 2011 2:23 pm

    “Good. I need a mustache.”

    That is awesome.

  13. Meredith permalink
    February 3, 2011 9:13 am

    I think BYU has a mustache support group . . .

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